Fork in the World....

I have to say... that being married is not all its cracked up to be. My husband is so different I guess the hubby phase is over. He acts like he is pregnant sometimes. And I am sorry if it sounds derogatory towards women but he just acts like he controls everything.. its whatever right now. Freaking out about things a lot, and when he goes through his scares he just blocks me out. Ignores me and his excuse for that is "Everyone handles their stress differently.. he acts like we haven't been living with each other for like close to a year now for me to know what he acts like.

HEALTH:

Ok, so I have been going through these migraines and eye pain spells for like, on and off, 2months now. The migraines is more like 7 years but the eye pain tied to the migraine is something very new. I keep having these dreams or imagining myself with a brain tumor or a very terminal illness tied to these symptoms a lot. I am scared because I do not want to actual have anything bad wrong with me. I don't need that type of attention ever. Its not cool to have these ideas or thoughts. And then imagine myself conquering my goals and living the GOOD LIFE.. with cancer or anything. My mom is even scaring me talking about lets go get a CAT scan.. um... about that.. I want to do it.. but I am scared. Well.. right now Health is something I have a very sensitive feeling talking about.

EDUCATION:

So, I am going to change my major to psychology because right now my given circumstances is causing me not to exceed. I am not seeing any progress and I am not surrounded by people who want to the same goal as me to keep me motivated. I just do not know what to do with my life. And a colleague of mine, insisted that I change majors. I need to do this "Post-Bac BioMedical or PreMed.." route because I can not have this type of record trying to fulfill a goal like becoming a cardiologist. FLORIDA A&M University is a college that really is not known for graduating traditional students. So I have to make my case extremely special so I can wow the judges when I try to make this break into medical school. I know I am married and I have a lot of given circumstances on why this happened the way it did but I still have goal. I am looking at going to University of Miami or Florida International University or Florida Atlantic University or Nova Southeastern for D.O. ... any where south florida... I need to become a doctor but live my life too. My husband has the mentally and has it made when he continues to go back to school. He is smart and driven. He can mute his emotions and become heartless and get the job done. I, in the other hand, can not I am more worried about the whole picture and my heart is too fragile to let something go wrong. One thing goes wrong and the whole house of cards collapse. I am imagining great things and practicing the secret.

Thank you, for helping become the best cardiologist I can be.